When you look at the list of the most useless NHLers of the 2009-10 season, Tampa Bay’s Zenon Konopka should be right at the top. Konopka led the league in penalty minutes with 265. He only played 602 minutes on the ice. During said ice time, Konopka notched a whopping two goals and three helpers as a forward. The Lightning paid Konopka half a million dollars to be the league’s most useless goon. He didn’t earn any bonuses.

At any given time during the season, there are about 540 active NHL roster spots among the 30 teams. Konopka played in 74 games this past season, a career high by 51. Still, his five points weren’t the most in his career. He tallied seven in 2005-06 with the Ducks when he played only 23 games. He finished this season sitting 527th in goals with his two, 605th with three assists, 611th in points, 567th with 41 shots, and an incredible 797th in plus-minus, sitting at minus-11. But again, he was first in minutes in the sin bin.

When experts say that Tampa Bay’s talent level drops severely after their first two lines, they’re talking about Konopka. The only reason he found a full-time job on an NHL roster was because the Lightning brass knew they weren’t going anywhere in 2009-10, despite emerging superstar Steven Stamkos, and they wanted to keep some money available for their rebuild. At the first opportunity, Konopka will be back in the AHL with the Norfolk Admirals where he belongs.

It is hard to believe that there isn’t anybody else in Norfolk who can fill Konopka’s role; probably for less money. Even a third- or fourth-line forward should be able to total more than five points in a full season, yet Konopka found a way to avoid doing that. Konopka will never be a Hall of Famer, but when his career is over, he’ll be able to tell his friends and family that once upon a time, he finished ahead of everybody else in the NHL in one category. It will just be a matter of whether or not he’s proud of it.